New Age Upon Us

Howdy you bastards. To those who still visit my blog (as evident by the morons who type weird stuff on google), thanks for sticking by. To those about to rock, I salute you.. errrr.. Whatever.

Anywayz, unless you were living in a fuckin secluded cave in Malaysia (Gua Niah dowh!), you would know that Malaysia has a new PM. Fuck you if you dont. Even my friends who aren't Malaysians and are overseas know (as evident by 3kc's remark: What Najib? Why not what's the other guy's name....errr.. Owh yea! Anwar Ibrahim. She's in US and not a Malaysian. I'm talking crap).

So, this Najib fler (who is he la????) is the new PM. Took over from what's-his-face. So, his incoming Prime Minister-tial speech had something about 1Malaysia. Like, you know, like one Malaysia, one people, one love kinda thing. Very promising shit, I mean stuff. Haven't heard a thing about corruption from him though. Anywayz, alotta people don't want him as he is suspectably (?) involved in some shady shit. Innocent until proven guilty is what I say.

Yea, so ermm, ermm, he wants to make changes. HAH! Bullshit! Liar liar, pants on fire. Argh, I cant remember what I wanted to say (I'm just writing exactly as I think in my head). But but usual la. These politicians. Say all the nice things and then you realise he just fucked you over. No changes seen in the past few weeks he's been in office.

BUT, now the media cannot mention Razak Baginda's name. Oopsy! How silly of me. I just mentioned his name. This Razak fler is a close friend of Najib. And was supposedly involved in said shady shit. And now noone can mention his name about the shady shit. Only must focus (I like it in BM better: FOKUS) on the two policemen who were sentenced to hang. Cheh, no more freedom of media speech. Eh what the fuck am I talking about? Nothing new kan?

Enuff about Najib. This Anwar fler now. Why is he making alotta buy-elections? BY-elections I meant. Fucker. My dad doesn't pay tax for you to make buy elections ok? Pantat. Eh fucker, who you think you are? Enuff la dey. Dah lah my dad can only send me to Aussie and not US and you waste my dad's money for buy elections. Pukipantat. I can go to bledi US and meet Mr Obama and his new dog ok? And you go and spoil it for me. Noone fucking died so why must sack some sonofabeech (italian accent) and force a buy election. And then BN dont wana fight now summore. Haiz

Your demand for attention something something according to Honestly - Tempered Mental which I'm currently listening. Your bloody demand for attention. The Tempered Mental girl says you and I should be happy and free now, beautiful somehow. You go and make things ugly for what? And Black Label - Lamb of God says something I cant fucking understand even with the lyrics. So why why why?

Fuck you all. I'm layaning the tipsyness as I write this. Dont fucking wonder anymore why I can crap better than you. Because I'm fucking awesome. I fucking rock the world and all you can do is sit down and wank or suck cock. Which I'm pretty sure you're amazing at. I should start blogging more often. Problem is I'm feeling like a Freak on a Leash and I can see, I can see I'm going Blind - KoRn. Jacob Dylan tried turning the engine, but the engine didn't turn. And he lost his only friend. Poor fler.

Finals are on and one last paper to go before Langkawi (hopefully). I miss Tai Ti and I had a weird dream about Left 4 Dead after playing it. My life fucking rocks. So I'm not complaining. Owh the tipsyness rocks better :D

ps: Banana banana banana terracota banana terracota terracota pie yo!! I'm in the Viscinity of Obscenity :D

pps: If you wanna comment, dont fucking tell me I dont make sense. I would know when I read this tomorrow :D

ppps: Love you bastards

Take it to the bridge.. Err streets

As I was flipping thru The Star this beautiful morning, (Friday, 20th Feb) I happened to see an article about Hishamuddin advising the youth to not take protests to the streets. He said something about doing it in a closed environment. Cant really remember. And he also said this: Taking it to the streets is not the BN way.

May I remind you, dear sir, that your grampaw took it to the streets when protesting against Malayan Union. So no more bullshit about how street protests aren't the way to go and also to do it behind closed doors cause man, that's just bullshit. You know damn well the youth wont get police permit to organize a protest, let alone behind closed doors.

Speaking of behind closed doors, why is everyone making a big fuss that Eli Wong allowed a man into her room? I mean seriously, you think just because we're Malaysians, we cant have pre marital sex? No matter how many "raids" you conduct, you cant stop raging hormones man. Like, dont you have wives and sisters who go beserk when they're imbalanced? Hormonally I mean. But yea, no person in this world is allowed to judge someone else morally (orally, I dunno but that's for another day). Because morality like art and music is subjective. So you (yea you toyol) should have not shot your mouth about how it is morally wrong for her to have a man in her room. Dont impose your shit on others. Cause they might throw the shit back at your botox-ed face.

I've got a 2000 word essay due in a few hours and I still havent completed it. Till the next time,my dwindling readers.

ps: Fucking Gutterpost is temporarily shut down because they posted Eli Wong's pics. I'm lacking from candid-celebrity-nudity. I WAAAAANTT!!!!!!!

Fuckin funny la!!

So, prom is over and done with. And judging by the crowd, it was a blast. Now those who organized are complaining they miss the stress and shit. Yea people, I do too. In the event that prom is done, I'm back to blogging and I found this lil piece while reading The Star today.

This Kelantan Umno fler, hahahaha, sorry sorry, I'm actually laughing as I write this. This Kelantan Umno fler said people should stop wearing Obama t shirts. Hahahaha.. but wait, that's not the punchline. He then went on to say that people should wear Najib t shirts, with him being the PM-in-waiting and all.. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean c'mon. Najib t shirts???? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! The reason people wear the Obama t's are cuz he's THE beacon of hope and change right now. And Najib? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Fucking funny la you guys!!!

FedEx

I posted this on the comments section of Kerp's blog. He asked me to forward it to Rocky's Bru and Malaysian Insider.

when rpk accused najib, they brought rpk in. when the reporter accused ahmad, they brought the reporter in. then when saifool accused anwar they brought anwar in. when toyol accused teresa, they brought her in.pundek flers losing trend la.. even CSIs are gonna have a hard time understanding their pattern.

What do you say? To forward or not to forward?

Fuck the What?

Democracy has gone to the dogs. Don't ask. Read the papers.

Spread the Lies and the Fire!

So, the man everyone's looking at is back in the Parliament after 10 years. Well done dude, but you made alotta promises on the way there and also to Putrajaya, so try and keep them promises k?

In the wake of Anwar's win, DPM Najib said that the win proved that democracy is still alive. Tipuuuuuu!!! Democracy not only applies to winning fuckin elections la! Democracy is also about freedom. Freedom to choose, to speak, to go out all night and party..Err wrong freedom. But yea, DEMOCRACY. Latin word ya'll. Means people's government. Or something similar. PEOPLE'S. NOT ruling party's.

So, by you saying that democracy is still alive, you're lying. Liars get their pants on fire, y'know? By shutting down Malaysia Today (mirror site :http://mt.harapanmalaysia.com/2008) you are denying democracy. Just because all the articles Raja Petra (who btw, is an ex-Victorian, trust us Victorians to raise hell. Ask Johanians :P) writes is against you government flers, you cant bloody shut down the site. Where is your sense of democracy now dude? And where is your sportingness. Tak sporting la ya'll.

Now, you can arrest us and shut down our blogs and stuff just because what we write is counted as Pro-Opposition. What if on the 16th os September, Anwar becomes the PM? Than what we write will be counted as Pro-Gomen what? Have a different perspective la dudes. Think outta the box. You've been cocooned inside the box for faaaaaaaaar tooooooooo loooooong. Come out and smell the roses. They smell nicer now.

In a coconut shell, don't lie. Jangan tipu. Don't give us the bullshit that democracy is still alive because man, we too intelligent to buy shit like that. We're more wary of you now, 50 years of ass fucking have a way of making people smarter.

In a tortoise shell, vote. Be a part of change. (I'm not campaigning for Obama although I fully endorse him :D)

Waahhh, Everyone's Doing It Mama!

Weehooo!!! The latest craze to hit the town isn't a new handphone, nor is it a new game, nor the Olympics. It's the 'Swear on the Holy Book' and Statutory Declarations!

The DPM did the 'Swear on the Holy Book' hot on the heels of possible sodomite, Saiful. Of course, he didn't swear that he doesn't practice sodomy, he swore that he doesn't know Altantuyaa.

And then, and then, this Indian dude who's a driver suddenly came also hot on the heels of the missing PI and came up with a Statutory Declaration. He claimed Najib and his wife practise Hinduism or some nonsense liddat. Check out Malaysia Today for the SD.

So, come one, come all, let's take advantage of these situations, make a mockery of religion (tho I do not believe in religion) and a mockery of law. Let's swear on a holy book everytime we need to prove our innocence. Let's make an SD everytime you wana bring someone from a long way up, down.

Everyone's doing it. Why not you?

Major Change

Back to college now, and I'm doing this program where I get to choose my subjects and try em out for a week. Then after this add/drop period, I havta finalise my subjects for the semester. Pretty kewl stuff. After all the psych talk, I have decided to switch majors. Not really, but yea. (fuck, I'm not making sense). OK now, to the point.

You know what is a fucking good field right now? PR. As in Public Relations, not Pakatan Rakyat la. I think I'm gonna start a PR company offering PR services (duh!) to politicians. You know, like you see in movies. The PR dude advices the Presidential candidate on what to wear, how to smile, what to say, how to look at the camera and raise one eyebrow (ok ok, that's The Rock, he doesn't need PR)

I thought of this this morning and I think it's a brilliant idea. No more bocor, jihad, minority not important, beruk, goblok, evil etc etc statements. I understand your concern. Laughter is the best medicine. We all need to laugh out loud at the stupid, ridiculous, ludicrous things that spew out from the politicians' mouths like vomit spewing outta little Carrie's mouth in The Exorcist.

With this plan, I would stand to make millions, maybe billions of ringgit and become a crony (most favouritest word by political critics, wonder why I never used it before). Then I can also become the director, CEO of 200+ companies, Tan Sri Dato Seri Tun Tinesh (not bad sounding eh?) and I would make trillions. And in the course become the first man to be a trillionaire. Fuck off Warren Buffet and Billy Gates (no offense to you guys, k? I belanja you Oreo McFlurry if you gonna sulk).

Of course, I would make Malaysia a better place by making these politicians say the politically correct thing. Funny how POLITICIANS never say the POLITICALLY CORRECT thing. And in course, I would fund Don Kerp to be the next Prime Minister of Malaysia and I get to be the CEO of 1000+ companies and Lord Tinesh (sounds even better :D).

All this is in line with my plan to be the Capo de Tutti Capi (Boss of the Bosses, THE Godfather). Then with my trillions, I can donate a few billion (pocket change mah) to subsidies petrol, fags and thanni. Happy Malaysians all around.

On a sorta related post, Budget is on the 29th and I heard the 14s pack is gonna be abolished and 20s is gonna be sold at 10 bux. This is why I always say, have grass :D

On a abit sorta related post, petrol prices may go down. This is gonna fuck Anwar's plan to become the PM by reducing petrol price. Kakaka

On a very related note, I'm a lesbian now since I like pussies. :D

ps: Moz, if you're reading this, it's been inspired by your ramblings. Though it can never be anything as close. Blardy Jack Sparrow you lol

Hypocritism Part the 2nd

Yea man ( in Jamaican accent), I'm doing a sequel! Previously on Sticks:

Hypocritism by politicians.. Now on Sticks: Hypocritism of THE PEOPLE! THE RAKYAT! THE COMMON MALAYSIAN! *cue dramatic music*

Now, I'm sure almost every Malaysian, mostly of the politically aware age, has sat down in mamaks and Chinese kopitiams and talked politics. And of course, you definitely would have complained about how we getting fucked in the ass worse than Saiful's complaint. Don't blardy deny it ok?? *Indian accent*

And of course, a few definitely talked on how THEY would run the country if THEY were PM. (Kerp, this is not directed at you hehe). So, my question now after the rambling is, HAVE YOU REGISTERED YOURSELF TO VOTE AND VOTED? If you have, then read no further. Good on you :D

And this is the part for those who talk shit and don't vote. How in the blue hell (hell is blue?? wtf haha) do you expect the changes to be made without you making the changes? Changes come from US. Not through others. If you think you want to see some changes after all these years of butt-fucking, how about you run to the nearest post office and register yourself as a voter?

This is a democracy. Not necessarily a democratic country through and through but a democracy nevertheless. And in a democracy, it's a privilege and a right to vote. Yea man (again, in Jamaican accent) I know some of you might say that since it's a democracy, we can choose not to vote. I say then shut the fuck up and don't say you want changes if you're not gonna be a part of it. I'm not forcing those who aren't gonna register, I'm just appealing to you people to reconsider.

Exercise your right to vote! If you're sick of butt-fucking like I am, then vote!

This public service message has been brought to by Sticks. In case of a snap elections sometime next month.

ps: unfortunately, I can't vote because my 21st birthday is end of the year. So please help me out yea? :D

Hypocritism

Well I'm pretty sure all of ya'lls know what hypocritism is. Here's a fucking good example:

Anwar says BN MPs will be jumping to Pakatan Rakyat. Pakatan Rakyat cheers. Whoop de fucking doo! We got da gomen!

BN and PAS hold talks. Pakatan Rakyat says it's unfair to voters if PAS joins BN because we trusted PAS and voted for them.

So it's ok to the voters who voted BN MPs and they jump ship, but it's not ok if PAS joins BN? Personally I dont want PAS to join BN simply because there wouldn't be a strong opposing voice in the Parliament.

Moral of the story: Never trust a fuckin politician :D:D